Hmmm .. what can I say. I have been slacking!! Mostly this happened b/c I stopped logging on from home and well I was blocked at work so I just gave up. What is funny is that all of a sudden I can access it.. so what does it mean? It's a sign that I should write.
So what is there to say.... well I have a few things on my mind. First of all I have noticed that I've been kind of down lately. I am really upset w/ myself and all the things I have not done. So 3 months ago i was really motivated and wrote down all these programs i want to apply to and well lets just say 3 months later i'm sitting here - didn't apply to any one of them already passed and the one that i really want to do is due in 2 wks. They are really competitive programs but I will never know if i can get in if I dont try! I'm so upset. Why do I lack the motivation? What do I need to do in order to get up off my feet and just start moving? What happened to the old me that would just wake up early and go to the library to do problem sets on her own, or the one that just got up one day packed and left the state... or even more recent - when I would wake up at 545am to make it to the gym by 6am every m orning... what happened? Are there anti-lazy pills that I can take?
This is upseting - more upseting knowing that I can do it but I don't. I would feel better if I tried and got rejected b/c at least I tried. How many more gmat books do I need to buy before I actually get to it? GMAT 2010? :(
Not a good day.
Feeling quite blue.....

What a great feeling! It IS a new day...I am LOVING this video!!


If you haven't heard, Obama won. =D

It's Time

90,000 people showed up to Obama's rally in Virginia last night. I can't even put into words what I felt at the moment but the way people were surrounding him afterward didn't just speak volumes about the man...but also about how badly we need this. And it was a bit heart wrenching to imagine what he must be going through with his grandmother, who raised him, passing away yesterday. To have to find the strength to keep going. I couldn't sleep afterwards and saw a couple last minute commercials put on by bringing up Rev. Wright once again. Sigh. What's most disgusting is the talk of Obama purposely planning his grandmother's death. Are you kidding me??

I voted about an hour ago and I feel like today is going to be the longest day ever! (By the way, am I the only one who feels like a mad scientist moving that huge lever in the voting booth? lol). I wish NY was a swing state. Anyway, good luck Obama!

Watch this last Diddy blog and you will automatically fall in love with little D'Lila Combs (the one in blue). Love it! :-)

Waaazzaaap 2008

Dear Clothing stores and clothing designers and...,

I am 5'4". The average female height in the US is 5' 3.7.". Who the FUCK are you all selling/making pants for??!!!!!!

Last night I stopped by H&M to pick up some pants for an interview I had today. Lucky for me I could wear whatever I wanted at my last job so the last time I bought any kind of suit was right after college. And I guess I was smaller back then so last minute shopping I went.

It was 9pm so I grabbed a bunch of black and gray pants. TOO LONG!!! Seriously, what the deuce?! And then the ones that weren't so long that I would trip, were too tight on top 'causing some fake camel toe effect. If I went a size up, then they'd be okay up top but TOO LONG!!! Do they test these pants thinking that all women walk around in 6 inch heels all the time? I enjoy me a nice high heeled pair once in a while but for the most part it slows me the fuck down. I had to buy a skirt instead.

This is also the reason I detest shopping for jeans. Aside from the 2 pairs of jeans of mine I really like, you force me to compromise and wear jeans that look "okay.". That is not okay!!! And don't tell me I can take them to so and so's to get them hemmed. Fuck you. Why should I settle for skinny jeans that bunch up like that 'cause they're too long?

We need to make some changes up in this piece. We need some realistic options. Some of us have short legs, tits and/or asses!!!! Maybe you should consider a raaange of sizes from jolly giant to shorty doo wop...from big ol' butt to nasitall. I'm tired of trying on dresses (and even coats) only to find that my bootay makes it look funny in the back because it wasn't made for me.




Just GREAT!!

Wow...I dont know what's greater...the moves or the outfit!!

I just spent the day cramming for my econ midterm. In college, I didn't take too many tests...more essays and lots of papers...but in high school I remember making up little songs to remember things. I guess things haven't changed 'cause I made up a little tune today. And I'm going to bomb. True story.

That reminds me! One of the great benefits of being unemployed is being able to watch Ellen and a couple of weeks ago, she had the cutest little girl on....

Long time no blog

Considering that I'm making a speech on blogging next week for my Communications class (which I am a little freaked out about), I figured it might be time to stop being a hypocrite and actually blog! Especially since all of our fans keep checking in...not. =/

I've been meaning to write a "meaningful" entry since liiike August I believe. My good friend from college came to visit me for a week and a half right after I left my job and we had such a fun week! On my last day of work we went to see In the Heights, which was SO GOOD! I felt all inspired to blog about it and put it off like a lot of other things in life. Anyway, highly recommend it.

On a more miserable note, I've spent the last two months being somewhat of a Debbie Downer...Negative Nancy...Miserable Pickle? Ok, I made that one up.

Towards the end of my time at my last job, I started getting pain in my right arm from using the mouse. I just ignored it and would sometimes just switch the mouse to the left side. Well the pain hasn't gone away and gotten worse. I spent a couple of days with my arms and elbows just throbbing with sharp pains here and there. It sucks because (1) I like to go online and I can just read stuff online all day and (2) it's kind of hard to function in this world without being able to use a computer! Maybe I'm exaggerating but I've put off my job search and I'm broke as a joke because I don't want to 'cause any completely debilitating damage. Not to mention, I'm in school and need to write up papers and do research and all that fun stuff you're all so jealous of.

I've installed one of those programs on my computer that forces you to take a break. It's so annoying and even locks the computer after a while but it does help. I went to my general doctor 3 weeks ago and he told me that I need to rest my arms and that I should buy an arm sling and take motrin every 2 seconds. Thanks doc! I've done a lot of research on repetitive stress injury and it seems some doctors don't really know what they're talking about. Some people recover, some deal with the pain their whole life. Some suggest just living a healthier lifestyle. Some go to physical therapy for weeks only to find out it didn't work. I've tried taking breaks for days at a time which takes away the pain but as soon as I get back on (as I am right now), the pain comes right back. One website said you need to rest your arms for 13 weeks. I don't know if that is an option when bills need to be paid!! There's always retail...blah.

In the meantime, I've been writing more by hand and made an appointment to see an orthopedic on Tuesday. Oh, and the reason I've been able to go to the doctor at all is because I signed up for COBRA through my last job which is fucking expensive!!! It's a vicious cycle.

Aaaand my hard drive crashed. Luckily, I found out about Knoppix, an open source live linux cd, which includes a data recovery program called PhotoRec. Even more luckily, files don't ever really get deleted from a hard drive. So I was able to get all my pictures, mp3s and word files. The bad thing is that included with those pictures was EVERY SINGLE PICTURE that the computer ever laid it's eyes on. We're talking hundreds of people's AIM buddy icons, their myspace pics, pictures of purses and shoes from browsing online. AAAH. And it doesn't end there. None of the files, including the mp3s, have their original file name. Fun times ahead.

Time to get off the computer. Stay tuned for happier thoughts...

I have to say ever since i got this gig my music priorities have been leaning more towards the mainstream side...but i'm not even gonna front... I LOOOOOOOVE this new Beyonce song!! Now I know this sounds like "Get Me Bodied" but i never got tired of that sound so i'm ready to rock to it again! (oh and it was produced by The Dream so naturally i'd love it!)

I can soooooooo see me and all the girls jammin to this at the club! (oh and the video makes me want to go eat some biscuits and cross my fingers in hopes that it'll all go to my thighs so they can look like beyonce's! lol)

8 Phases of Dating

By Tim Wise

For those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a “fuckin’ redneck,” like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll “kick their fuckin' ass,” and talk about how you like to “shoot shit” for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re “untested.”

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance because “if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me,” and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the “under God” part wasn’t added until the 1950s--while if you're black and believe in reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), you're a dangerous and mushy liberal who isn't fit to safeguard American institutions.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto is “Alaska first,” and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college and the fact that she lives near Russia, you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don’t even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a “second look.”

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn’t support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is when you can take nearly twenty-four hours to get to a hospital after beginning to leak amniotic fluid, and still be viewed as a great mom whose commitment to her children is unquestionable, and whose "next door neighbor" qualities make her ready to be VP, while if you're a black candidate for president and you let your children be interviewed for a few seconds on TV, you're irresponsibly exploiting them.

White privilege is being able to give a 36-minute speech in which you talk about lipstick and make fun of your opponent, while laying out no substantive policy positions on any issue at all, and still manage to be considered a legitimate candidate, while a black person who gives an hour speech the week before, in which he lays out specific policy proposals on several issues, is still criticized for being too vague about what he would do if elected.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a “trick question,” while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O’Reilly means you’re dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to go to a prestigious prep school, then to Yale and Harvard Business School (George W. Bush), and still be seen as an "average guy," while being black, going to a prestigious prep school, then Occidental College, then Columbia, and then Harvard Law, makes you "uppity" and a snob who probably looks down on regular folks.

White privilege is being able to graduate near the bottom of your college class (McCain), or graduate with a C average from Yale (W.), and that's OK, and you're still cut out to be president, but if you're black and you graduate near the top of your class from Harvard Law, you can't be trusted to make good decisions in office.

White privilege is being able to dump your first wife after she's disfigured in a car crash so you can take up with a multi-millionaire beauty queen (who you then go on to call the c-word in public) and still be thought of as a man of strong family values, while if you're black and married for nearly 20 years to the same woman, your family is viewed as un-American and your gestures of affection for each other are called "terrorist fist bumps."

White privilege is when you can develop a pain-killer addiction, having obtained your drug of choice illegally like Cindy McCain, go on to beat that addiction, and everyone praises you for being so strong, while being a black guy who smoked pot a few times in college and never became an addict means people will wonder if perhaps you still get high, and even ask whether or not you may have sold drugs at some point.

White privilege is being able to sing a song about bombing Iran and still be viewed as a sober and rational statesman, with the maturity to be president, while being black and suggesting that the U.S. should speak with other nations, even when we have disagreements with them, makes you dangerously naive and immature.

White privilege is being able to say that you hate "gooks" and "will always hate them," and yet, you aren't a racist because, ya know, you were a POW, so you're entitled to your hatred, while being black and noting that black anger about racism is understandable, given the history of your country, makes you a dangerous bigot.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism and an absent father is apparently among the "lesser adversities" faced by other politicians, as Sarah Palin explained in her convention speech.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren’t sure about that whole “change” thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain…

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Looooong time since I stepped back into the Musical Laughter world! Let's get things rolling with a review of NeYo's new album Year of the Gentleman. Overall, I'd say it isn't an album you put on and absolutely LOVE right away, but I am a fan of giving good artists a chance by listening to their stuff over and over before I judge it. That it is...track by track! Enjoy!

Track 1 - Closer
You know u love it! Heard it a million times. Great! We got it out of the way...movin' on!

Track 2 - Nobody
Great follow up. Keep the momentum going. Sounds like a single down the line. (You know ne-yo releases like 7 singles per album anyway)

Track 3 - Single
Very Polow Da Don-ish...reminiscent of Love In The Club. Just happens to be a better concept. It's like Love In The Club was the first draft and this is the polished version. LOVE this track! This has to be my favorite track on this album! Absolutely hate the fact that New Kids On The Block has a version of this song featuring Ne-Yo tho...BAD move (on ne-yo's part of course).

Track 4 - Mad
Exactly what you expect from a ne-yo album. A sweet make up song that you'll find yourself singing in the car, shower, or wherever you usually sing along.

Track 5 - Miss Independent
Perfect for a second single. There's nothing like a man singing about independent women to make us all raise a glass and dance with our friends at the club! This could've been sappy but instead it's a sexy song I guarantee we'll enjoy years later.

Track 6 - Why Does She Stay
I have to admit this one took me a few listens to get into. The concept is great but it almost reminds me of an interlude. The music could drop 1 minute in and fade away into the next song and I'd be ok with it. It's still a sweet song and I don't feel the need to take my ipod out of my bag and switch to the next song.

Track 7 - Fade Into The Background
Storytelling through songwriting at it's best! You can picture this situation from start to finish. Great song that truly shows ne-yo's writing skills!

Track 8 - So You Can Cry
Still can't get past the John Legend "Let's Go To The Park" type of sing-songy, finger-snapping-ness of this song. It annoys me and makes me switch to the next track by the time I hit the second verse. In all fairness...when u ignore that aspect of it...the lyrics and the approach ne-yo takes is great! I'll get over it after a few more listens.

Track 9 - Part Of The List
Strong song! This is the song you always expect towards the end of the album. The one where you find yourself singing even louder and possibly closing your eyes and pumping your fists SWEARING you have an amazing voice. (Or maybe that's just me lol) Needless to say I like this one.

Track 10 - Back To What You Know
The topic of this song is pretty interesting and it gives ne-yo a good look. This song couldve been given to a female singer like Beyonce or someone badass like that and it wouldve worked just as well! Ne-Yo is pretty kickass on this one! Love It!!

Track 11 - Lie To Me
At first listen the repetitiveness of the line "lie to me" makes u be like "ok shut up!" But this song is so hot when you get past that! Once you get to the find yourself saying "Michael?? Is that you? Are you back??" The echoing definitely makes you think you're listening to MJ and not Ne-Yo. Makes you think about the wonders Ne-Yo could work for Michael. (Hold your horses...I'm not saying MJ needs Ne-Yo to work wonders...but it would be a nice bond!) Anyway...LOVE IT!

Track 12 - Stop This World
Eh...this one doesn't cut it for me. This is a bit too "I believe I can fly" but in a love song. No thanks! The album ends at Track 11 for me.


So although I've been suffering from a little bit of repetitive stress injury on my right arm, I was bored and here's a little something new to hold us over. Until I'm unemployed and have lots of time! I can't figure out how to make the post titles bigger tho =/

Edit: Turns out the post titles look fine on IE but not Firefox. Waaah!

Loves it...

I was on reddit and ran into this link: the 10 most undeserving celebrities who got action figures. Look at who's #2...Xuxa! lol. How dare they call her undeserving. Pure blasphemy.

Kids say...

There's this 7-year old Ghanaian boy (let's call him E) who's family owns a little market next to where I work. Lately, he's been stopping by to visit regularly, which I'm sure is partly due to the fact that they do not have AC in there. The other having to do with his need to listen to Chris Brown on my ipod.

E: Kids at school make fun of me because I'm the only black boy at school
me: ?!
E: I lie and say that my parents are from Los Angeles or Las Vegas.
me: You should be proud of where you're from and who you are. Kids say a lot of stupid things!
E: Noooo, these are smart kids!


E: I wish I was big already and had muscles so that I could get all the hot girls and just ::starts humping the air::
me: ::looks at him like he's crazy::
E: You should go out with cousin. He knows the words to all the songs on the radio.
me: really?...
E: Yea, and everyday he dresses like he's goin' to a party!
E: And he has nice abs! Does your BF have abs?
me: Don't you have some toys to you need to go play with?


E: A lot of girls at school like me 'cause I'm handsome. One told me she wants to have sex with me.
me: What?! What the hell is wrong with you kids?!
E: Me?! I told her we're too young to do that. I can only have sex if I'm married and if I know where the girl lives.

Closing a chapter

So after being here for almost 3 years, I resigned from my job on Wednesday and it's been nothing but a whirlwind of emotions and stress. It took me two days just to get the words out and then I teared up while saying "I'm resigning." While I always knew that I wouldn't stay here forever because it's not going to lead me where I want to go, it's no doubt that this place has become somewhat of a second home/family to me. For the most part, everyone here is so great and I've been very lucky in that respect. After breaking the news, I did feel a sense a relief but then reality set in. And the reality changes everyday.

I'm going to be a full time grad student and it's exciting to think about moving in another direction, being a student again and not living the 9 to 5 lifestyle. But it's not exciting to not have steady income coming in and not have health insurance. Will I be able to find a part-time job that won't drive me up the wall? Or should i just take anything because a job is a job and all I hear and read about is how bad the economy is right now and how we should just hold on to what we have? I am taking a risk because I'm still not sure about how beneficial this degree will be for me. And I'm 26 and still trying to figure things out. I've been all over the internet reading about other ppl whining just like me because time's are a-changin' and a degree is just not what it used to be. This, I'm sure, doesn't help my situation. People who are unhappy are more likely to go online and vent...and misery loves company.

Then that just opens up a whole 'nother can of slimy worms. I have days when I just think that it doesn't matter where I work. Career schmeer. A job will not define me. Whether I like the job or not. In this country, we spend way too much time at work. While for some it's an opportunity to do great and fun things or make a real difference, for most it's really just a means to an end. Ideally, it should be more than this. But it's all easier said than done. I've been trying to find a way to balance what I care about with what I think I can actually be good at (something I think people forget) and then find out what's the fastest way to get to wherever that is. In the meantime, I can only try to stay positive and push out images of me surrounded by bills with a negative bank account balance.

On another note, Friday night I had a dream that I was going bald in different spots and it felt so real I woke up checking my head. I looked it up in my dream book and it said that dreaming of going bald signifies feelings of disempowerment. Interesting because I'm definitely starting to feel financially weaker! Preparing myself for the possibility of cutting out spur of the moment shopping and $60 waxes and many other things I technically don't need to survive. Le sigh.

And finally, I'm going to try to blog more. Simply because I want to work on my writing. And I'm also going to change the layout on this damn thing...

Everything's gonna be alright.

Woooow! That's what I said when I saw Usher on TRL today... Check out the video and if you start to get bored just fast forward to about 2:20 to get your Instant Usher Rantification (yeah I made up the!?)

Usher...seriously??? I mean come on...some of us still can't get over the fact that you and Chilli aren't together. It also doesn't help that the new album doesn't meet the Chilli and post-Chilli greatness you gave us years back :-\ So let us hate...we'll get over it sooner or later.

Moving on...

OK honor of trying to turn things around here and heading towards the "Musical Laughter" direction...

So this past weekend I was driving with my cousin, a song comes on the radio (i had never heard it...ever) and she starts singing all the words to it "...I kissed a girl and i liked it...the taste of her cherry chapstick...I kissed a girl just to try it...I hope my boyfriend dont mind it..."

I thought this was really funny...and def I go do my research and here are the basics:

Katy Perry
Age: 23
From: Santa Barbara, CA
Interesting... She was a Christian Gospel singer and now this lol

Check out the other track "Ur So Gay"... THAT one is really funny. I think what adds to this is that she actually has a good voice so as much as some of you borderline conservatives out there don't want to like're gonna have trouble finding a reason without outing your right wing ways!!

Ok stop laughing...or rolling your eyes...I'm serious. Now I know I spit out tons of stuff I plan on doing and whatnot...but I'm serious!

I read The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao and I can't help but think...I want to write a book! Not because I want to compete with Junot Diaz or Julia Alvarez, but because I know there is a huge story to tell and hell...why not. So this past weekend I was sitting with my mom and two aunts and they started sharing stories about growing up in DR and I realised, all they need was for someone to listen. They told me things that my siblings and cousins have no idea about. One of my aunts said she was only telling me because she sees i'm interested and i wont judge them.

Initially I thought, "man this could be a movie" but honestly, it is way too much and it would be a great book to write. So I took it upon myself to write it. I dont think they thought i was serious, so we'll see what happens when i show up with tape recorders at their homes and start to get all this stuff on paper.

Wish me luck!

Sooooo... I've kept this excel file ever since I graduated college and started a full time job. This file contains everything I have done w/ every check since July 9, 2004. I can go back and tell you how much of it went on tolls, phone bills, dinner, drinking, flights, etc. It's pretty cool b/c I update it once a month and it helps me realize where my money is going. So when I first moved here I was doing pretty good.. I felt like I was partying a lot yet saving a lot... but then November happened and I think after my China trip it was all downhill... my savings were just decreasing and decreasing... things just added up, weddings, flights, trips, more trips, bdays after bdays... I mean to the point where this morning I was like wait a minute, this is ridiculous!!

So I sat down and made a budget for myself. I dont know how realistic this budget is but it starts May 1st. I have an allowance of $130 a week which can roll over and if I overspend will subtract from my next wk. These $130 is for everything = partying, drinking, cabs, lunch, dinners, shopping, etc. I figure, my parents cook every day, I shouldn't have these 30-50 dinner charges on my cc, and i should be taking left overs so i shouldn't have these $10 salads for lunch, and since I don't drink as much I shouldn't have $100 tabs at a bar from buying one round of shots! I also should be responsible and wake up earlier rather than pushing it having to take a cab to lexington in the morning... lol. Anyways, I really hope this works out. I also think I'm going to cut on the random trips. Limit it to 1-2 big trips a yr. I have my whole life to travel (although now is the best time) but I should keep other priorities - studying for my gmat, going to grad school and if not that then buying my own place. Anyways, thats my new budget.. I thought I would share. I'm kind of excited about it. I guess after making myself not drink for 2 months I think I can accomplish anything now... haha. I'll let u know in two months how this worked out.

Don't you hate it when you do certain things and ppl just ask too many damn questions!?!
So yeah sometimes I'm a little secretive and don't like to share anything w/ anyone but if you are my friend and u know me you should know that is how I am so DON'T ASK ME?!

This just happens to be b/c this wknd I was hanging out w/ a friend and my sister texts me "who is this friend?" I just ignore the text... next text is "why are you so secretive!" anyways... this is just random but sometimes I just don't feel like sharing, I dont like everyone knowing where I am at all times of the day and what I'm doing. Sometimes I just love turning off my phone and ignoring the world. It just sucks when I have to turn it back on and I have texts and voicemails asking where am I what am I donig and why I'm ignoring them. Can't ppl just leave it alone. When do I ever harass ppl into telling me where were they the night b4. See thats why sometimes I just feel like moving to a different state where ppl can't just say "I went to your house last night and u weren't there... where were u?" lol.

Maybe i'm just weird. I mean i've been told i'm weird just b/c I keep things to myself too much.. but I like it this way.

Anyways... just rambling. :)

lol.. so as you all know I gave up drinking for two months as of the morning of the 24th of February. When I first said it, I have to admit I thought to myself multiple times... "damn will I be strong enough not to do it?" I did doubt myself I really did eventhough I didn't show it! lol.. So it was kind of an eyeopener when I told ppl I wasn't drinking anymore and they laughed at my face like riiiiiiiiiiight .... I'm like damn I am really a lush!!!

haha so I started writing that back in March and one month later I'll finish it up...

so yes. my two months were actually up this wknd. Everyone asks me, so how does it feel? I dont really have an answer to that. Do I feel healthier? not really, but I'm sure I am healthier. My beer gut did go down a little :). Anyways, so this was definitely a fun experience. Like I said before I didn't think I could do it b/c I love to drink and have a good time. I learned that you can def have a good time w/o drinking. :) WHen I say this to ppl they are like yeah right.. suuuuure, who goes to a bar and watch ppl drink? etc. You don't realize it until you try it. Of course I got tired much earlier.. those 4am nights followed by El Presidente was definitely a wrap, as were trying to make it to 4 bday events in one night. Haha.

So all in all it was a great experience, I had 2 urges to break my 2 month experiment and have a drink. One was our very first warm Thursday 2 wks ago - it was so nice out everyone was in a good mood, and I had an urge for one ice cold beer.. just one! I didn't give in though. Second time was a random Friday, I was tired from work hanging out w/ my friend and I thought, today would be a good day for one ice cold

So what now? Well on thursday I went out w/ my boss and coworkers and I walked in there and we were playing pool and I said u know what.. i just have one more day left... let me just have a beer. My coworkers were excited and they got me a 16oz beer Yuengling on tap to be exact. I took my first sip and ... well I didn't expect fireworks or anything but I dont know it just felt weird. I didn't even finish the beer, the urge wasn't there. So Friday I hung out at my friends house and we were playing some games... everyone was drinking and I made myself my first mixed drink. I didn't even drink half of it... I babysat it all night (of course I made believe that I "just" made that drink whenever ppl asked "is that still ur first drink?") lol. I checked my email this morning and I have an email from my brother saying that he went out Friday night and he decided to put this not drinking and having fun thing to the test and he was amazed how much of a blast he had, the fact that he remembered ALL details of the night, and he was able to wake up early Saturday morning and start reading a book he had been meaning to read for the past 3 yrs. I thought it was funny. So it works! At least I can say I've been inspirational to some ppl to at least try it once. haha.

Anyways, that was my 2 month experience. It wasn't a tough one at all. I look fwd to not getting as drunk and not spending as much money as before... and no more standing at the bar calling for a round of shots... lol. :)

-The End

Love it...


to do...

hellooo bloggy mcblog blog! how i've neglected you so.

can anybody out there hear me? 'cause i can't seem to hear myself

i'm so tired right now! and i don't have anything really interesting to write about so i'm just going to make a list of things i need to do:


  • get through the work day
  • go to class and pay attention bc last week i got called on and i was in my own little world. that was so high school.
  • go home and read a million pages.
  • email prof asking if i can get squeezed into his summer class. (i logged on at exactly 5pm to register and all the seats were filled in like two secs. oh, alma mater, how i miss you so, where we didn't have to really deal with much bureacratic crap)
  • snore.


  • buy a bday present for a friend
  • shred junk mail and throw away even more papers
  • go through clothes and get rid of more
  • send thank you cards to 2 ppl
  • buy contacts (i lost mine more than a year ago. i suck)
  • watch netflix movies i've had for foreverrrr
  • take driving lessons
  • cut my hair again
  • go to 3 doctor's appts in the next week. fun.
  • start jogging on sunday.
  • plan weekend trip to philly
  • re-join salsa class if school class doesn't work out
  • dance salsa
  • go to container store and buy something to organize earrings (i've lost 3 earrings in the last 2 weeks. all brand new. they all cost less than $4 but that's besides the point)
  • decide what i'm going to do about school/work/etc.
  • continue to make fun of people who say "good times, good times"
  • use patagonia gift card
  • use blockbuster gift card
  • buy a nose ring that isn't too big/long for my nose
  • finish editting my resume
  • buy a belt or two. say no to plumbers crack.
  • save more money!
  • buy new earphones
  • aids walk, may 18th. gimme money.
  • find out who the fuck keeps stealing all my damn post-its at work!

You guys all remember those boring history classes (at least those of you who hated history as much as I did). It was a whole lot of which countries fought each other, who got killed etc. It may all sound fun when I put it that way...but somehow the books just sucked history dry of fun. Then we have the things that weren't even in all those chapters we had to read and the things that happened WHILE we were reading the history books and no one cared to inform us.

So yesterday I had a lazy Sunday and as I'm looking for something to replace my old "CourtTV Fix" (you know with all the crime shows) now that CourtTV has been changed to TruTV and seems to look a lot like Spike TV with all their "Wild Car Crashes / Most Unbelievably Stupid Crimes / The State Trooper Gets Shot During A Random Traffic Stop" Shows. I find myself watching the History Channel. Now I know that at least a year ago, the History channel was literally one of my boring history books from high school slammed onto my tv. Yesterday...I discovered this might be one of my favorite channels from now on. It's like they tricked me into learning some interesting shit.

So here's the lineup of what I watched (2 of the 3 had nothing to do with any history but technically...i guess it fit)

Shootout: North Hollywood Shootout (1 hr)

"This is the story of the fiercest gun battle in US police history. On February 28, 1997, a high-stakes bank robbery went awry and devolved into an urban firefight that became one of the most violent shootouts in law enforcement history. With TV cameras capturing the action from above, two paramilitary-style gunmen take over a bank using terrorist technology. Donning full body armor and automatic weapons, they charge out of a Bank of America branch in North Hollywood, California, and with brutal and brazen disregard, they fire armor-piercing ammo at police and citizens, turning a congested residential area into a combat zone that ends with deaths and numerous injuries. Police on the scene that day recount their ordeal that very dangerous day."

**Notice how the description sounds all historical and shit! lol this was super entertaining tho.

Hippies (2hrs)

"The Hippie movement was the most controversial and influential of modern times. Free love, the peace movement, drugs, Eastern religions and communes are explored. Meet the figures whose words and actions inspired it and destroyed it. See how the vibrations from that era are still resonating today in almost every aspect of American life, from the clothes we wear, to the Personal Computer and the Internet. Finally, historic footage, stills and period graphics are interwoven with expert commentary and eyewitness testimony."

**This was the only historical 1 of the 3 and it was great! The entire hippie movement goes way beyond the whole peace and love thing...oh and I'm kind of excited to know Steve Jobs and the other Apple dude were that must be why Macs and iPods are like a drug and give you that great feeling lol.

Breaking Vegas (2 hrs)

"They were "Whales"--the highest of high rollers. Treated like royalty by casinos worldwide, they won millions throughout the early to mid-1990s. And nobody had a clue that they were MIT students, part of an underground blackjack team--card counters who used mathematical wizardry to win. In this 2-hour special, we chronicle the true story of the rise and fall of the MIT Blackjack Team, featuring interviews with Ben Mezrich, author of Bringing Down the House, casino executives, security experts, and actual members of the team."

**This made me wish I had crazy math skills so I can go to Vegas and get me some cash. lol

Aaaanyway...I guess the point of this post is to let you know you should give the History Channel a chance once in a while lol.

This coming from a person who hated history in school.


It's definitely one of those staring-at-the-clock-until-it's-time-to-leave kind of days...

I'm on the Daily News website and I just read an article about a man in Queens that was coming home from a party and was shot. They included all these details about him wanting to get his GED and turn his life around. the end of the article, this random statement:

"Meanwhile, a 23-year-old Bronx man was found fatally shot in the head inside his silver Ford Expedition SUV parked on (insert address here) about 2:15 a.m., police said."

Now aside from the fact that this is random...I have to say this bothers me for plenty of reasons. This happened about 2 houses down, right across the street from my house. Those of you that know where I live, you know my neighborhood is pretty quiet. If you come around any time after 11pm when the grocery store closes, you will find NO ONE in the streets.

So Friday night, I'm at my cousin's house having pizza and watching TV and I came home at about 1am with my 10 year old niece. Then we realized she left her mp3 player and I called my cousin to bring it by when she came to pick up her brother from hanging out at his friend's house down the street. She showed up at about 1:45 and I had my niece meet my cousin at the door to pick it up. We head to bed and are watching TV when I hear a pop (obvious now that it was a gunshot) and then 2 cars speeding away. Call me crazy but I didn't even look outside or anything. I just thought nothing of it and went to sleep.

The next morning, everyone is talking about someone being shot outside and very few details are known etc, etc. There are still tire tracks of blood on our street so I don't know what happened but it must've been pretty crazy.

This is a big thing for people around here cuz this kind of stuff never happens around here. (I guess that's what everyone says lol)

It's just kind of nuts to think about the whole situation and how it gets no coverage. We probably will never know who got killed, who did it, why, etc. Then it makes me many times this happens all over the city and no one knows about it. The news and papers can only cover so much.

I just think, this guy had to have a mother somewhere...then again maybe not. Someone has to be grieving for him right?

Have we become so cold that it just doesn't matter anymore? My 10 year old niece didn't even flinch when she found out about this the next morning. (she was actually the one that said...hey look there's blood in the middle of the street)

I can't lie...I'm pretty curious to know exactly what happened...the first thing I thought about were the details of the crime in an SVU / Forensic Files type of way. Are we all obsessed with crime?

Aaaanyway...I guess such is life :-\

Ok so we're not gonna get all crazy about politics on Musical Laughter...but this is more about the it def fits!!

I think we have 2 classic quotes from this...

"Bitch might be the new Black, but Black is the new president, bitch!" hahahhaaa

If Hillary can be president because she was married to the president then Robin Givens would be the heavyweight champion of the world!! LMAO

Agree or not...that shit was funny!!

Awww I miss Tracy on SNL :-\


Sorry Eminem, but this is funny...still heart u tho! or the old u? haha...


Saturday night I got home around 4 something in the morning (formerly known as 3 something in the morning. i heart daylight savings). It was soo windy and cold that night. Tired and ready to go straight to bed, I grabbed the nearest shorts, 2 blankets and knocked out.

A couple of hours later during some really deep sleep, I get woken up by my sister, "They said there's a fire in the building!"

I did not hesitate for a second, which we both laughed about later on. Maybe it's some sisterly connection but I looked at her and knew it wasn't a joke.

You always wonder what you would take with you in case of a, the dog, bla bla bla. Well I didn't ask any questions. I knew the fire obviously wasn't in our apt but I didn't know if it was nearby or not. First thing I did was look for some sneakers to put on. Then I grabbed my coat. Everything (credit card, debit card, ID) was in one purse from the night before so I took that. Grabbed the cell phone off the charger. Looked back at my computer thinking "sorry dude =/". And out we went.

People were running out with their babies wrapped in all wrapped up...eye crusties everywhere... little kids crying 'cause they were scared. One little girl asked to borrow my cell phone 'cause her daddy hadn't come outside yet. My little cousin was dragged outside in his boxers.

It turned out it wasn't a big thing. Well it was for the people who live in the apartment that was on fire but the main inconvenience for the rest of us was almost having a heart attack and the terrible smoke smell that still lingers in the hallway. Oh, and it was freaking cold outside. Wasn't a good night to choose to sleep in shorts. The rumor is that some couple was having an argument and either one of them knocked a candle over or purposely set the place on fire. Dra-ma!

It's sad to know we haven't written since February...but I refuse to give up completely. So to kick things back into gear...I'll tell you a little story.

So my sister was out to dinner with her husband, my 10 year old niece and my 18 year old nephew. The check comes an my sister offers to pay. Her husband asks if she's sure and my niece jumps in and says "remember daddy, she's a working girl." My sister's mind automatically jumps to the wrong place and she says "Oh we can't say that "working girl" is a bad word...that means prostitute." Then my sister catches herself and realizes that my niece probably doesn't even know what a prostitute is so she asks her and my niece responds "Yeah it's the lawyer who accuses the suspect." So my sister explains that the lawyer is a prosecutor and a prostitute is a woman who has sex for money. lol My nephew felt it wasn't necessary to tell her what it meant but my sister told him the story of when he came home and asked what "gay" meant and she said gay was happy. He then went on to ask "oh so am i gay?" So she had to explain. lol

Aaaanyway...kind of makes me wonder...was my sister wrong to jump the gun when my niece said "working girl"? I don't really think it was necessary to go there. Do i think she should've told her what a prostitute was once she mentioned it?...absolutely...cuz for all we know she would've gone around telling people she wanted to be a prostitute when she grows up when she really meant a prosecutor. lol

Three Sixty-Que?

So obviously we are big blog 365 loserrrrrs! Going back to fill in missed days is just not something I look forward to so I will officially state that we are done with it. While it's a great idea and I commend all of the blog troopers out there, I just feel that writing should not be least not all the time. Sometimes it's a struggle for me personally because a lot of the things I do feel like writing about are somewhat personal and I just don't know how much I want to put out into the interweb. I need to get over it tho.

Tuesday morning after a 3 day weekend and I feel tired from doing nothing all weekend. I went outside once in the past 3 days and that was to buy a new sim card for my phone. (I hate T-mobile by the way...just thought I'd put that out there in case someone googles T-mobile and ends up here after looking through 300 pages of search results). It was one of those lazy weekends. I spent Saturday and Sunday at home with the The BF watching tv and doing things couples do. Watched 3 movies...Quinceneara, Good Luck Chuck, and The Nanny Diaries. TV sucks extra ass these days. Yesterday I read for school and made brownies! Yum.

Oh and I paid of my credit card this weekend. That was exciting! =/ =)

Oo, for all those Project Runway viewers, Christian was standing next to me on the train the other day. Good thing I don't see "celebs" (for lack of a better word) on the reg because I just stare at them from the corner of my eye like a weirdo. Anyway, I think he has a good chance of winning but we'll see because everyone that's left is pretty good.

Ok so let me start out by saying that I enjoyed the show last night. It was nice to see the Grammy's get back into the entire spectrum of music and not just the songs we've heard a million and one times before.

Top 5 2008 Grammy Moments

5. Herbie Hancock Wins Album of the year. I have to say I was like "WTF?" (see below) but I think it's about time the Grammy's really get out there and celebrate something other than hip-hop, pop and country. (at least ON the show...not like the other categories that you only hear about right before commercials)

4. Beyonce and Tina perform. Seeing as how we ALL know Beyonce wants to be was great to see them rock it out together. I kind of wish they wouldve coordinated their outfits more or not at all cuz it was a bit jarring to see them in different shades of silver and one in super tight pants while the other had none at all. :-\ was still a good performance.

3. Amy's Face When She Won. I have to say I wanted to give Amy Winehouse a hug when I saw her face. It's almost like she still doesn't believe she's great. Maybe this will help her stay in rehab and come back with some new music. I also loved when she thanked "RAY RAYYYYY" she sounded like she was straight from the hood and ray ray was her baby daddy. lol Get Well Soon Amy!!

2. Kanye's "Mama" Performance. I don't think I've ever gotten teary eyed during the Grammy's. This was a great performance and it was kind of crazy to watch him get through it.

1. Kanye Telling Producers to Shut the Music Off. Ok now I know it might be crazy for me to include another Kanye moment but he desereves this one... Sometimes people get up to accept their award and you start to fall asleep and you want the music to come on, but in the middle of someone thanking his dead mother???? WTF??? So I LOVED the fact that he was very composed and politely said "I think it would be in good taste to shut the music off right now" and everyone clapped for him. Good Job Kanye!!!

I know tons of other great things happened during the Grammy's and it might be a shock to some that I didn't include Alicia Keys in here at least because I'm a fan of her music...BUT I have to be fair...she did as great as we'd expect her to do (both times) so moving on!

Now I'd like to have another category cuz a few things happened that didn't necessarily ruin the show but made me be like "WTF??" lol

Top 5 2008 Grammy WTF Moments

5. Herbie Hancock winning the award for album of the year. So I know in retrospect it was a great moment but when this first happened I made the Scooby doo noise like "wtf?" But I'm over it and I'm glad it happened that way. Kanye can't really get mad at Herbie. :-)

4. Bartender being nominated for a Grammy. I know this was a hit and all but "wtf?" It was nominated for Best R&B Song by a Duo. Is this what R&B has become? I just can't imagine some old fogies sitting in an office like "How about that T-Pain song? That was a great song lyrically and musically!" lol Thank God it didn't win...Chaka Khan feat Mary J Blige won. Phew...thats was close!

3. All the Kanye Attacks. I'm not writing this blog to defend Kanye but it seems a few things happened to him last night that needed to be pointed out. First of all Vince Gil? I mean the whole "I got a Grammy from a Beatle. Has that happened to you yet Kanye?" I was like what? Who are u? Aaaanyway... lol USHER..."wtf?"...not only did Vince Gil try to knock Kanye first but where have YOU been? I mean this is soooooo 2007. The entire world took jabs on Kanye after his little tantrum. The joke is old by now. At least let it sit for a while and bring it back in 2009 or something!

2. Chris Brown's Red Pants. I'm sorry but when this boy came out...I was like "WTF?" lol His BRIGHT red pants almost made me miss the awkward moment during his little "Parents Just Don't Understand" speech. lol There was a silent moment before Akon jumped in there and was like um ok. Also...I forgot Solange was there...did she speak or did I miss it during the bright red pants blinding?

1. Kid Rock hitting on old lady Keely Smith. He made not one but TWO comments that made me believe he wanted to bag this old lady!!! If she wasn't giggling like a little girl...I'd think this was disrespectful. That def STILL has me like "WTF?"

Like I said...tons of other stuff happened at the Grammy's like Rihanna looking like Prince and whatnot...but these are the things that stuck in my mind the day after. :-)

Good thing the writer's strike didn't affect this cuz it seems the Grammy's made me like Kanye again!

Super Tuesday

So today was Super Tuesday!

I have soo much to say about so many aspects of this...but I don't have the energy to do it right now. And it just makes me upset. Apologies to our dear fans lol...



I don't really like football but I usually watch the Superbowl, at least for the commercials. Gotta support New York tho! Went to my cousin's crib in Yonkers, along with my sis and the BF, and watched pretty much the whole game. And ate a lot, again!! So much for eating healthy. I heard Superbowl Sunday is the 2nd biggest eating day after Thanksgiving and I believe it buddy...

I like how after the Janet Jackson boob incident, they've only had certain kind of artists perform during the main half time show...


Spent the day with some of the cousins today in Jers. We ate soooo much...=/

"And it's so haaard..."

Weiner Circle

Valentine's Day

Yea it's another ridiculously commercialized holiday. And we all loooove to hate it.

Even so, I'm a sucker for it. I like any day where I'm the princess lol! I haven't been single on many Valentine's days (yea that topic is a whole 'nother phrase for '08) but I've never had a great v-day. I had an okay one in 2004 but we were supposed to go this Dominican restaurant in Philly and he was late so by the time we got there they were closing up. Besides that, my 3 previous long term relationships all ended on or right around Valentine's Day. So any good memory of this day is blocked my memories of swollen eyes and tissue paper.

So my dear BF, who reads this blog but doesn't comment because he feels like he shouldn't be reading in the first place, the pressure is on! hahah

I've got something up my sleeve tho for my sweet prince of the ghetto. I'm excited.

I started school this week! AAAAH!

I’m tired. It’s been a while since I’ve had to sit in one seat for 2.5 hours WHILE paying attention. It went pretty well. I felt like such a freshman yesterday looking for the classroom lol. Professors seem interesting so far. It’s funny…’cause in undergrad (at least at my school) everyone was 18-22 years old and the professor was older. Obviously, this is not the case in grad school. So I was sitting there waiting for the prof to come in and kept thinking a lot of my classmates were him…but then they would go sit down.

So not looking forward to buying books tho…boooo. So expensive. Even some of the used ones. Although I’m picky about used books. I don’t want the former owner’s highlighting and notes all over the place. My stats prof “recommends” but doesn’t require you to buy the textbook and says you can use any book. But then the syllabus is based on this one book sooo why wouldn’t I buy it again?

So that’s that. Now I have to do stuff like READ and WRITE! Speaking of which, I have to read some of the federalist papers for the gazillionth time in my life. Goodness! Definitely doesn’t seem as challenging as the ‘Ford was but we will see.


On my ride home on the train tonight, I couldn't stop thinking about the way I speak. Sometimes I wonder if people believe that the way I speak reflect my intelligence. I'm not talking about the words I use or don't use, but the accent I say them with. Oh FYI...yes I have an "accent"...Although I can't say I always knew this.

I remember freshman year in college we had a communications class, and we were going around saying what we thought about people just by the way they look, speak, etc. I only remember two things that were said about me: one, that I was a "red sportscar" type of person (at the time i thought it was cool but now i think it has to do with the whole "latins are on fire" or "hispanics are hot tamales" or whatever). The second thing was that I was from the Bronx because of my "accent". Part of me was like "wow they got this one quick!" and the other part of me was like "I have an accent?"

*For those of you that are my friends but never ran into this type of situation in college or elsewhere... I guess I have to be the first to tell you... YES you to have an accent. It might be a NY accent, a Dominican accent, maybe a specific Borough accent...but yes, you have one*

My whole life I grew up thinking my mom and my aunt's had an know like when they say "I seenk so" and "I'm bery mad". But I never really thought I kept mine from back in the day when I couldn't pronounce the word "dog" lol. Then here I am, I get to college and I feel like the loser that goes on American Idol and says "What do you mean I cant sing??? Everyone I know says I'm great!" but for some odd reason they can't seem to hear the notes they are singing.

So now at work, I obviously don't speak like my gringa counterparts and sometimes I wonder if in the corporate world (although I can't say my job is corporate) my "accent" will affect how far I get. Let me explain for those that don't know me...I don't have the Selma Hayek/Penelope Cruz accent that will get me into Hollywood for my "hotness". This is more like a toned down version of Jenny from the block. lol So at times I feel like maybe people think I come from some ghetto neighborhood and if they cross me I might bring my gang to fight them. However, I can't say that assumption bothers me as much as the assumption that I might not be as qualified to do the job as well if not better than someone else. I haven't felt this in full effect at work, but at times I listen to those around me and I can't help but wonder what they might be thinking. I feel like maybe I should teach a class on culture. Yeah so I put a little more "umph" in my speech...sue me for having some life in me and being passionate about what I'm saying!

So onto my whole life I've looked at "having an accent" as a bad thing. I know people that have worked their whole lives to get rid of theirs. I remember some time in junior high, people having mentors that taught them how to say "tea for two" in the "proper tone". My question to them now is "why do you think your "tea for two" sounds better than ours?" Point is, we have to learn to be proud of our culture and how it is reflected through our speech because in reality, these accents just say a little more about our culture. I can't say I would want to trade mine for anything because I feel like this is part of my story. There is a legit reason behind everything about us. (*tangent* It's the same as why we include so much rice in our meals...anyone know the real reason?'s simple rice is cheaper than most foods in the Dominican Republic so it's the best thing to eat and fill you up. Same thing goes for yucca and plantains... equal to potatoes for the Irish, etc, etc.) So basically, my "accent" tells my story. Was English my first language? No. Where am I from? The Bronx! Am I an educated Latina, Yes!! Is there something wrong with any of that? No Biatch!!

So as we would say... Don't get it twisted!!!

Damn this makes me want to go get a PhD or something!! :-P

Color Quiz

My results...

Your Existing Situation
Easily affected by her environment and readily moved by the emotions of others. Seeks congenial relationships and an occupation which will promote them.

Your Stress Sources
Delights in the tasteful, the gracious, and the sensitive, but maintains her attitude of critical appraisal and refuses to be swept off her feet unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely vouched for. Therefore keeps a strict and watchful control on her emotional relationships as she must know exactly where she stands. Demands complete sincerity as a protection against her own tendency to be too trusting.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Unhappy at the resistance she feels whenever she tries to assert herself. However, she believes that there is little she can do and that she must make the best of the situation.
Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity.

Your Desired Objective
Feels the situation is hopeless. Strongly resists things which she finds disagreeable. Tries to shield herself from anything which might irritate her or make her feel more depressed.

Your Actual Problem
Her natural ability to examine everything with critical discrimination has been distorted into an attitude of harsh disapproval, which opposes and denigrates without regard to the real facts.


This 365 thing... tough!

Every time I try to write, either I'm staring at a blank screen or I delete everything! Arg!

Anyway, don't you hate when you have a song stuck in your head but you don't really know all the words to it...this has been it lately:

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn
to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
A la peaceful melody
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is shortT
his is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
My breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what i'ma saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue...

-Jason Mraz, "I'm Yours"

Since everyone wants to have jokes lately about my sk with their oh-so-cool blackberries lol...

a lil something to read...

On a related note, i hate cell phone companies. I'm tired of them trapping us consumers! oh! the oppression!

How do you feel about giving money to people on the subway?

I do once in a while but for the most part I don't. Sometimes I feel bad about it and sometimes I don't. But it's always interesting to see who people give money to the most. You have your crackheads, your drummers, aspiring artists, people who lost everything in a fire, people who just aren't mentally all there, injured people, blind ppl, poets, dancers, ppl doing flips and shit (the last 2 sometimes accompanied by a cute little kid) etc. Twice in one month I saw this one dude who claimed he recently got out of prison, was living in a hotel and just needed money to get back on his feet. He walked up and down the train car flashing his prison ID.

People tend to give money to those who are either giving them good entertainment, have a good believable story, and don't seem completely "hopeless." I'm sure much of it falls in line with the idea that "nothing in life is free." However, when it comes down to it, we just never know. What is a scam, what isn't. Who needs it most and who doesn't. Is it wrong to give a crackhead a dollar just so that he can feel better tonight? He's not going to be kicking that habit on his own anyway. Is it okay to give a dollar to some adult making their cute little son dance on the train when his facial expression shows he's just not into it? I really don't know. We're all just trying to survive. And society is failing a lot of us. So do we pay for it, do we look the other way, do we blame these people for not "making it" when the world is working against them?

I remember this strange gentleman that would ask for money around 180th and 181st and St. Nick many years back. One day he had crutches, the next day his ass was walking with a broken arm. There were rumors that he was really wealthy in DR...I wonder...

Ok so now that I got into the whole TV diversity and whatnot conversation, I'll keep this ball rolling.

Here's the point...WE must get it right FIRST before anyone else does!!!

So today I was thinking about the TV situation, how it's all set up and how we aren't accurately represented. Then I thought...well we have our own damn channels and we STILL aren't accurately represented. I mean how many of you Latinos out there know women that walk around in scantily clad clothing and wait around for a man with 5 first names to come and rescue them yet cry anytime that man yells or threatens to leave? Ok so we have some of these characteristics in SOME women we know, but these novelas don't represent anyone I know or even heard of in my lifetime. That said...let me move on to my point...

When is Telemundo (I say Telemundo and not Univision because their ties with NBC makes me expect more from them) going to start making a positive impact on our society?

Here's the ideal situation...I hope to live in a world where my future teenage daughter can have the option of watching the latest drama on NBC, ABC, etc or watching the same kind of show in Spanish on Telemundo or Univision. I'd like to see a cast of women that represents our society...yes one or 2 scantily clad women but MOST should be strong, positive role models for our children as well as our parents (Cuz lord knows some of our parents need positive role models too!) I can't remember the last time I watched something on Telemundo or Univision...and it has nothing to do with my age, my Spanish skills, or my taste in TV shows. I practically watch anything...BUT i just can't sit through these sissy ass women being on tv prancing around in there lycra mini skirts!!! We have to make it STOP!!! Think of it this way...for all my non-latino people...when you flip through the channels and bypass telemundo, i'm sure your response is "What the hell is that??...ok next!" (Unless you catch Laura in which case you probably stop to see the female version of Jerry Springer because that hair-pulling, face-kicking language is universal) What are we teaching people about our culture? Maybe this is part of the reason people keep calling us "exotic" like we're some damn colorful bird from the Amazon or something!

I can go on and on about this...but I'll bring up just one more quick point...I know the money is a big issue...but here's my suggestion...just go for it. Try new things because the MTV Tres population can only feed off of that channel for so long before they start to feel like it's their younger sibling's channel or even bigger, their kids' channel.

Aaaanyway...when you're ready to pave the way...I'm sure I'll be ready to take your call and write some good material for my Hit Me Up Telemundo!

P.S. Amas De Casas Desesperadas??? Come on couldn't get a little more creative? :-\

Ok...So sometimes I get caught up in the whole "boohoo there aren't enough latinos on TV, in movies, etc etc." Yes it's true...BUT what about our Asian peeps? Now I have to say this because it's not til you see a small change that you realize how much further we have to get.

So I'm watching Cashmere Mafia (hey...the writer's strike has me desperate for some drama) The show is decent...but my FAVORITE part about it is seeing Lucy Liu in a starring role on primetime TV not being "the Asian girl". Now I know what you guys think...she never plays "the Asian girl" BUT there's more. So I'm watching tonight's episode right now and her mom set her up with "a good Chinese boy" (you know the typical mom thing to do) so she meets the guy and he's hot... not like "oh kinda cute"...but hot. Now this doesn't usually happen on TV...stop for a second and think of how many Asian men you've seen on TV playing "the hot" the type of hot guy that doesn't do martial arts and speaks English perfectly and has more than one line etc, etc... exactly!

Moving on... Funny thing this episode..he admits that he "doesn't really go for Chinese women" I know this might sound messed up, but let's be realistic...doesn't it sound familiar? I mean he makes a good point, his mom has pushed so hard for him to go for the "good Chinese girl" that he runs in the opposite direction. (This sounds like most of us to me...but whatever) I hope she keeps dating this hot Chinese neuro-surgeon so that maybe others will follow. (oh just saw the preview for next week...guess he wont be back)

Anyway...I guess my point is... Kudos to the writers of Cashmere Mafia for putting Asians on the forefront on primetime TV and not having them jump around doing the latest kung-fu, karate, taichi, etc moves. These writers seem to have gotten the ball rolling for once...and maybe some brave and intelligent souls will follow.

Now if we could only get some South Asian women in some leading roles, that would just be great!

Ok back our regularly scheduled program AKA Where the Hell Are the Leading Latinos on TV? (oh and props again to ABC for having Ugly Betty up there)

Band Meme

We've been tagged ...

Here's how it goes.
You are about to have your own band's CD cover.

Follow these directions to the letter. Go to......
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result as a comment in this post.



Yellow Rage

One of my faves...saw them perform once at my alma mater

Mariah Carey - Fantasy (Remix) featuring ODB

I have aaalways been a big Mariah fan. Ok maybe not during her Glitter/emotional breakdown days. But I've purchased less than 20 CDs in my lifetime and 3 or 4 of those were hers. I don't know where half of those CDs are now because I don't take care of them but that's besides the point. She obviously sounds great and writes a lot of her songs which i looove.

The point is this song was a huge deal. Now you see it all the time but back then it was strange to see a pop singer like her do a song with a rapper, let alone a crazy ass one like Old Dirty Bastard a.k.a Big Baby Jesus. [Cut to ODB yelling "I GOT BURNT BY GONORRHEA!" in an MTV interview back in like '95 where they followed him while he went to pick up food stamps. May he rest in peace.] I remember watching the MTV Jams countdown hosted by Bill Bellamy on my little tv. Summer hit of '95...memories... in New York this year!

Check it out!

Monday was my sister's 24th birthday so last night a group of us went to Tenzan for some bday sushi. It was a pretty good spot.


We brought our own cake and sang "Happy Birthday!"


And then E's wine tipped over right on to me...

red wine!!

I have a little story that will digress into some random rant so beware...

So the following is the reason i can't seem to get out of this business. It's something that i can't experience as a teacher, the access to live shows and that feeling of knowing whats going on in the music biz...i just can't shake it!!

Last night I was at work waiting around because I had a ticket to go see Wyclef and he wasn't going on til 9:30. So one of my bosses asked me if I wanted to go check out a taping for Mary J. So i said hell yeah! and headed over to the show. It was amazing! I had never seen Mary live so it was a great experience. It was a cool vibe...saw a lot of people I know from my old job and from around the company and what not...

Now at the end of the show, it's 9:30 so I head over to Wyclef at Nokia theater. His show was was such a big mix of everything and it felt like a big party...partly because of the music and partly because of the random wiffs of weed and strong smell of beer hahaha. Good vibes...all kinds of people. He had Pras come out and do some Fugee songs, Pras also did his one hit "Ghetto Superstar" (i seriously think he needs to let that one go already). All in was a great show! issue was this...PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT!!! So when I first got there I went up to the front where my coworker was waiting.

- Side Bar -
Now...let me tell you my least favorite kind of people and if the ENTIRE title applies to you then yes you are one of my least favorite people. "Loud Drunk Obnoxious College White Girls" Ok...I know that might sound wrong but let me tell you why they annoy the hell out of me. You see these chicks give every group they belong to a bad name: loud people, drunk people, college students, white people and women. See i have no problems with any people in those groups...but DAMN all of them??? I can't take it!!!

Ok back to my I get there and there's a chick yelling at the top of her lungs in the middle of every song...saying the dumbest shit random shit. She is also singing the wrong words to the songs and off beat and whatever...people are drinking i get it she's drunk whatever. Moving on to the other girl next to her....can barely stand (let alone dance) and remember this is a Wyclef concert so you have all kinds of people everywhere...including what i like to call your macho Caribbean man. So this dude...seems like he's drunk...just wants to feel up on some ass...he goes up to that girl and she starts grinding on him...then turns around and starts making out with him. THEN after a few minutes she's like a little cat cuddling up on him and shit!! I'm like...are u fucking kidding me??? I mean god forgive me for saying this...but THATS why fucking chicks go missing or get killed in an alley and random shit like that!!! I dont understand how u can be super drunk and just get so emotionally attached to a random man that OBVIOUSLY just wants to fuck you!!! (IF THAT!) cuz this dude walked away from her at one point lol and she was left standing there all out of it...she looked like a sad puppy. Aaanyway...later on the guy came back and made out with her some more. Funny shit is he was near he leans in at one point and says something in creole while putting his hand around my waist for less than 2 seconds before i grabbed his hand and moved it away while i kept nodding and saying "ok alright whatever go away" LMAO so he went back to his drunk chick.

So this might sound fucked up...but i feel like a lot of the shit that happens out there happens to these "Loud Drunk Obnoxious College White Girls" because maybe daddy didnt do what they wanted daddy to do for them...whatever...i won't knock them anymore than i already have. my point is this...teach your damn kids to not be so goddamn needy that they have to get drunk at a concert and turn to some perv for comfort!!! Feel ME?!?!

I warned you guys...i got a little angry here...but at least i didnt hold it in lol

All men cheat?

So do you honestly believe that there are men out there that really don't EVER cheat? I don't know at some point I honestly believed that there were few men out there... but I think the past few years I've come to realize that no... there aren't any. So I think a lot has to do w/ spending the past 6-7 yrs hanging out with so many guy friends. It's so weird!!! I just don't understand. I mean I guess I do, b/c maybe if I were a guy I could see where they are coming from. So today I have a long one hour conversation with my male friend about it and he honestly told me that he can't think of a guy/friend/family member that has never cheated. Now out of all the ppl that you know how many males friends do you KNOW have never cheated? I had this one friend in Florida who I thought was the sweetest guy ever, I admired his relationship with his gf b/c he treated her like a QUEEN.. I mean they were perfect - their families got together and they partied and it wasn't until the day that he came on to me that I was like wtf? Then he tells me about another girl etc etc.. anyways the point is that isn't this crazy? I know I'm rambling and probably not flowing with my blog (I'm an engineer I'm not use to gathering thoughts and putting them in order I just get them So today I learned that this man that I've known for about 8 yrs a family man, father of 3 kids, married for over 30 yrs etc... that HE cheats on his wife. Now ladies u don't understand.. this is the LAST person on EARTH that I would imagine doing something like this - goes to church Sunday, caring man, like u don't understand never ever would I have thought that and today I learned this and I was shocked like it hurt me to know it. I can't look at him the same way ever. Anyway, so the thing is that guys are so good.. I mean they treat their wives/gf's like a queen and then they go do this? Now my question is do you think that you can love someone and cheat on them?
See at first I thought that this wasn't possible, I thought - if you are in love w/ someone you would never even be tempted to want to be w/ someone else. Now, i think that this is possible. See my theory is that for guys sex is all about satisfaction - just for fun just for pleasure. No strings attached. It's like going out for ice cream... or a walk in the park... no feelings just the instant pleasure. So a lot of them don't do it b/c they are unsatisfied in their relationships or they don't love who they are with - I think they do it just b/c it feels good so why not do it if it comes up? Now (damn I keep changing my line of thought), do you think that the girl that knows she is messing w/ a taken man has fault?
So my friend today tells me - "u girls are all stupid. You feel guilty if you like a guy that has a girl. I say if you like a guy and hes not married go for it, b/c if you don't then someone else will" So I tell him - yeah I think that it's just a matter of respect. We put ourselves in the other girls' shoes and we wouldn't want to be them getting played. He responds "well what is it to you - if anything he should feel bad. and that's where u girls are wrong - u think that only b/c u don't do it it won't be done to you... all guys cheat" Then he mentions it being different if you know the girl but if u don't then "what is it to you?"
Do you think that you can genuinely be happy w/ a guy that is cheating on you as long as you don't know?? I know so many older women, aunts, parents etc, that stay w/ men even after finding out that they have cheated. I'm like no f*cking way will I stay w/ them and how could these women be ok w/ this? Is it b/c they know what we don't know - that ALL men cheat? Do you think that they feel that as long as they bring home money, are there for the kids, and come home to them at night that that is enough for them to stay w/ them? Do you think they think that we don't know and they try to set this "family" example and stay "together"? So I look at my guy friends and their girl friends and I can tell you something ladies. When you see these multiple couples they are happy! They are hugging kissing - i love u, i love u etc etc.. and these girls are happy, they are happy w/ their man. Yet u take the girls away and bring new ones and there are the guys acting like they are single. My thing is - if you love someone how can you RISK getting caught and losing such a great person? - is it b/c there are a lot of great girls out there that they can take that risk? or is it b/c they are confident that they can ask for forgiveness and the girls won't go away. U know why I ask the latter.. b/c my friends are good guys (haha.. funny I said that) - when I say good, I mean that they treat their girls good, take care of them when they are sick, help them out when they need to, they don't beat them, they don't belittle them, and they are not assholes to them... they treat their girls good. So compared to a lot of guys out there that actually are assholes - do you rather be w/ an asshole or a good guy that cheats on u? I know I know.. the answer is neither... but still...
Now I know that girls cheat too blah blah but that's just another topic we're talking about men here. I think that guys just have the ability to separate emotion and physical while us girls even when we try to just have a "f*cking buddy" etc.. we end up mixing the two. That's why to them it's no big deal while to us it means so much...
Now I know I asked like 50 questions and i rambled and started a thought and didn't' really finish and started a new but i had so many thoughts i just wrote as they
So how do you girls feel about this?

PS. I tried to wait till midnight so that it can be a blog for Jan 16 but I'm tired now and going to bed. Night Night!!

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